26 Things About Ibiki Morino That Don't Suck
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: Even a man like Ibiki has his good side. A is for Anchor, B is for Bear, and so on.
1. A is for Anchor

**Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.**

Hi. I like Ibiki, I like writing and I wanted a challenge, so I figured I'd do an alphabet prompt thing. I'm not stupid- I know this isn't going to be very popular, but I don't. This'll be updated fast, since I'm already halfway done. I hope you enjoy! :)

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**A **is for **A**nchor

Every shinobi has an anchor, something that keeps a ninja grounded on the place of reality. Some of the more naïve interns in Ibiki's department would say that he didn't have one. Wisely, Ibiki ignored their snickers behind his back about his sanity.

Some ninja relied on their family. Some shinobi drank or adopted little idiosyncrasies that were barely noticeable. Some went on drugs, although those ninja sure didn't last long. Ibiki…well, Ibiki cooked.

Housewives claimed that cooking was stressful- Ibiki would beg to differ. On days where he'd had to go through stacks of paperwork or wash a particularly large amount of blood off his hands, he would go home and cook. He had to restock so often that the local grocery store owner knew him by name. Inoichi had become accustomed to a grumpy Ibiki dumping a large amount of food on his desk.

After the initial poison check, Inoichi had shoveled down Ibiki's home-cooked food like a starving man. The next time he got hold of Ibiki's curry he brought it home to Ino and his wife, who found it hard to believe that someone that scary could be such a good cook.

Inside, Ibiki was pleased to know that his food was good, not that he was actually cooking for anyone. He continued to cook, just as he continued to growl at unsuspecting genin and torture prisoners. Cooking just was something to keep him sane, an anchor.

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	2. B is for Bear

**Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.**

Ever seen the Idate Morino filler arc? He's Ibiki's brother, and I'm going to use him a lot in these. Thanks for the reviews! :)

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**B** is for **B**ear

When Ibiki was young he had hated his name. He had been a skinny, scrawny child with floppy brown hair. He had wished he could trade names with Kakashi- at least his name would have fit. But _no_, his name meant snore in the forest, something his mother had named him thinking he would turn out like his father, a bear of a man (he had, but that wasn't the point).

When your name means snore, you're automatically doomed at school, especially if you never fall asleep in class or do anything bad to begin with. He detested his name for a long time.

What changed Ibiki's mind about his name was his baby brother, before his parents died, before he spent his teenage years raising his kid brother, before his life was thrown into a turmoil that took him years to untangle.

Idate had been a year old when he had said his first word. It wasn't mommy or daddy or bottle or some random obscenity- it was _Ibiki_, and the thirteen year old boy just couldn't find in him to hate his name after that.

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Um...what was the letter again? :) Review please!


	3. C is for Christmas

**Disclaimer- I'm not Kishi. There, happy?**

**Enjoy! :)**

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**C **is for **C**hristmas

For some reason, people assume Ibiki hates Christmas. They scurry around him during that season, quaking in their sandals as they handed in reports. Considering that they're ANBU, Ibiki considers this quite a feat.

At one point he _had_ hated Christmas, thinking it stupid and secretly wishing his brother was still in Konoha so he had someone to spend it with. That was until Anko had, somewhat annoyingly, bounced into a bar where he had been spending his Christmas Eve and demanded he come with her to celebrate. Only the lack of anything better to do made him actually do what she said.

He found her leading him to her place, where Kakashi and Raido were holed up, sitting on Anko's worn out, outdated sofas. All three of them were reasonably drunk, enough that Kakashi could put his well-known dislike for Ibiki aside and raise a glass to him in respect. Ever since that night, where Ibiki had gotten just as sloshed as he would have normally, but in considerable better company. All four of them had no one to spend their holiday with, and Anko had taken upon herself to make sure the village loners didn't spend their _entire_ lives clinically depressed.

Ever since then they had spend their Christmas Eve together, getting as drunk as their liver would allow. They were joined by Yugao, who'd just lost Hayate, and the five of them became friends, if only on one day of the year.

Ibiki did not hate Christmas. If anything, he had more friends than ever at that time of year.

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	4. D is for Dessert

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**D **is for **D**essert

Ibiki, at this moment, is close to two hundred pounds of muscle. He is quite good at intimidating people with that bulk, and is one of the tallest and largest men in the Leaf Village. He'd have the official title if the Akimichi clan suddenly disappeared, not that he really cared.

The truth was, Ibiki had actually _lost_ weight in the past ten years. When he'd first become a genin, he'd been a "little" more than overweight. As a twelve year old, he'd been 150 pounds of fat. He'd overeaten to cover the fact that he was inwardly terrified of killing people, terrified of harming anyone. God knows why he became a ninja in the first place. It was only when his parents died did he stop eating so much, most of the available food going to Idate. His progress as a genin was slowed as he took on two jobs to pay for their apartment and looked after his brother. And, of course, he lost weight. It wasn't until his brother was old enough to take care of himself that he gained muscle, but at least he had slimmed down.

That wasn't to say that Ibiki like food any less, it just meant that he ate sensibly. He had no inclination to survive as a ninja only to have a heart attack. He practiced moderation and only ate healthy food.

Except dessert. It was Ibiki's one vice. If an enemy interrogator held a chocolate cake in front of his face and asked for Intel, Ibiki wasn't so sure he'd be able to resist. If it were a special occasion, like a subordinate he really didn't like getting demoted and shunted out of his department, he would celebrate with cake or ice cream. In the privacy of his own home, of course. No need for Anko to find out and tease him for the next few eternities.

The only dessert he hated was Pocky, if you could even call it a dessert. But Ibiki still ate it once a year, on his brother's birthday. It had been his brother's favorite food, and it was one of the few traits he and his brother had shared, the love of dessert.

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	5. E is for Elephant

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

I didn't post one yeasterdfay, so I'm posting two today. It probably means that this one won't be read...whatever. Enjoy! :)

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**E **is for **E**lephant

Ibiki was walking home from T&I one day when a little kid ran up to him. Glancing up, he saw that he was near the Academy. Oops. He usually avoided the Academy, deigning to avoid scaring the kiddies.

That boy in particular was wearing a metal plate on his head and dancing around Ibiki, holding plastic shuriken as if to harm him. A boy and a girl ran up, looking reasonably scared at his bulk.

"You look like an elephant!" declared the boy.

Ibiki snorted. The Academy must have been going over foreign animals today. He wasn't insulted, just faintly amused.

More children ran up and started an odd dance circle around, all of them holding hands. It reminded Ibiki vaguely of a demonic witch chant. They all were yelling "Elephant-san!" in unison. One of them latched themselves to Ibiki's leg.

Ibiki looked up from them to see Iruka staring at the spectacle, mouth gaping. His clipboard had fallen out of his hand, forgotten in light of this odd occurrence.

He chuckled at both the children, who were still chanting, and Iruka's reaction. He'd been called worse names than elephant.

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	6. F is for Future

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Hi again! This is the second chapter I've posted today, so go back and read E if you haven't! :)

Enjoy! :)

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**F** is for **F**uture

At one point, Ibiki had thought he had no future. He had lay in a hospital bed for months, the stench of blood clogging his nostrils and his chest constricted by bandages. He had thought that his life was over, that the rest of his existence would be clouded by pain and hopelessness. They said he would never be a ninja again, that the brain damage was too severe.

They were wrong. There was no brain damage at all, but they had assumed there was because of the deep wounds in his skull. Ibiki had been to the brink of despair and back, and has become more grateful for his life because of it.

Ibiki doesn't admit it, but he holds to the childish hope that maybe Jiraiya was right, there could be peace, and maybe then he would be able to stop hurting people. Ibiki's sadistic streak was far outweighed by his wish that he could just live a normal life, or at least be a regular shinobi. Ibiki always hoped that he had a future beyond T&I, even if it was just retiring and living out the rest of his life in solitude. It was better than dying on some mission or having a prisoner somehow sneak a weapon in an attack back.

Ibiki also held that his hope was futile, that he was destined to die a dog's death because of what he'd done, but even that was a cover-up for his true feelings. The best and worst thing a shinobi could have was hope, and Ibiki had a lot of it.

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	7. G is for Grapevine

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

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**G** is for** G**rapevine

Ibiki has always found the Konoha grapevine very interesting. It was very large, and consisted mostly of civilians and genin. However, a small amount of classified information always showed up there. Ibiki visualized the grapevine as a living, moving thing that resembles a DNA strand. He had once started a rumor to a civilian to see where it went, and he was very amused when Anko told it to him the next day.

Since then he hasn't participated, but he did listen to Anko's incessant gossip (while pretending he wasn't) to see if he could glean anything important. He rarely did, but he did it nonetheless.

Ibiki eventually admitted to himself (no good interrogator lies to themselves) that he just liked the gossip, no matter the Intel he got from it. No, it didn't matter if Kakashi had just had a threesome or Tsunade got a breast reduction, but it made his paperwork filled days a little funnier.

He found out that a number of rumors about him were circulating, and to Anko's surprise, he didn't deny the one about the large tattoo on his back, although he had to put an end to the ones involving Anko, Inoichi, the Inuzuka family, the Inuzuka _dogs_, and his personal hygiene.

He had always wanted a tattoo.

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	8. H is for Hell

Disclamier-I don't own Naruto.

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**H** is for **H**ell

Ibiki has quite a fascination with hell. It's probably not healthy, but he could care less at this point. Hell has always intrigued him. What qualified one to end up in this Hell? Was it committing unspeakable things, or was it the intent behind these actions that committed one to Hell? Not the Ibiki believed in Hell- he was interested in how the threat of such place could affect one.

Anko thought Hell was their actual life, and Ibiki was inclined to agree. Considering what he had already suffered, only the most sadistic deity could possibly want him to be tormented for eternity. He had copped his fair share of pain, and his belief was that whatever was waiting for him on the other side, it wasn't Hell.

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	9. I is for Iridescent

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**I **is for **I**ridescent

Ibiki liked shiny things. It was something that he had tried to ignore for a very long time and found that he couldn't. He was pretty sure it was a psychological response to the fact that his last gift to his parents had been a shiny, metal dolphin stature when he was thirteen, and he was fairly certain he was right. It didn't hurt to know how good you were in your field.

Knowing what the problem was didn't make it go away, and Ibiki had tried without success to ignore the attraction to anything that sparkled in the sun. Eventually, his mostly Spartan home had a whole shelf devoted to the shiniest, most irresistible of the objects he'd come across. It was ridiculous…and Ibiki can't help but smile every time he looks at the array of items.

It's silly and childish, and Ibiki knows it. And even though he initially tried to stop liking shiny things, he found that being able to see his own reflection without flinching wasn't the worst thing ever. Nowadays he's proud of how far he's come and keeps the shiny things as memoirs of darker times, when those shiny rocks and glass were the brightest things in his life.

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	10. J is for Jogging

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**J **is for **J**ogging

It's quite a sight to see Ibiki jogging. If you get up early enough you_ can_ find him running around Konoha, wearing the least amount of clothing you'll ever see him wear in public. Instead of his trench-coat, he wears a black muscle shirt and black pair of pants, his headband firmly in place- something he can get away with, considering that it doesn't get hot until much later in the day. When it was that early, he didn't care who saw the scars on his arms.

Ibiki found running to be a good way to get his mind off things as well as a good way to exercise. He didn't have much spare time, considering his position, but a forty-five minute jog every day was invigorating and kept him in good enough shape until the weekend, where he could get a good workout in. He didn't care if he sweated like a pig, or how many old ladies who got up at dawn to water flowers he scared, he liked it.

It calmed him after a bad nightmare and made him more alert, while letting him not have to think for a blessed time. For a man who spent most of his waking hours agonizing over paperwork and Intel he'd received, the silence and the fact that he didn't need to think was just _amazing. _Ibiki couldn't think of anything better than a jog in the dark, when the morning air was still crisp and smelled like grass and the scent of pure freshness. Maybe it _was_ a little too romantic of a notion for a man like Ibiki, but he couldn't care less.

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	11. K is for Kakashi

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**K **is for **K**akashi

When Ibiki had first met Kakashi, the younger man had made it more than clear that he didn't like him. Ibiki had just been appointed as head of T&I, and the rumors were spreading fast and furious. Kakashi had, and quite unlike the Copy Nin to do so unfairly, come to the assumption the Ibiki was an unforgiving sadist who enjoyed torturing people. This was far from the truth, but Ibiki had let him think that because he had no reason to convince him otherwise. He wasn't interested in being friends with Kakashi, and the only time they really interacted was every Christmas Eve, where they put their differences aside.

This all changed one day when Ibiki found himself on the way back from a mission brutally injured and too far from the hospital to make it before he passed out. He feared that if he fell unconscious that no one would touch him, too scared of his reputation to think that he needed help. The only person who lived close enough to help him was Kakashi, and he put up with the chance that Kakashi would shut the door in his face as he staggered to his apartment.

Kakashi didn't say a word, just guided the injured man to a chair and started bandaging his wounds. Once Ibiki's chakra was restored enough he could help heal the wounds, but he was so exhausted and wounded he had to crash at Kakashi's place, who didn't object, just let him have the bed, sleeping on his own couch.

Ibiki said thank you and bowed the next day, and was fully prepared to hear a snide comment on the irony of it or a thinly veiled allusion to Ibiki's chosen profession. Instead, Kakashi smiled at him and told him he could come back any time he needed help. Of course, Ibiki never planned to take him up on that offer.

The next time Ibiki saw Kakashi at a bar he bought him a drink out of gratitude and expected their contact to end there. In return, a bruised and battered Kakashi showed up at his home. Ibiki supposed their friendship had started off in a very manly way- two men getting hurt.

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	12. L is for Liquor

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**L **is for **L**iquor

Ibiki won't pretend that he doesn't like to drink. However, he has the mental capacity to know that an alcoholic ninja means an ineffective and essentially dead ninja, and therefore keeps his drinking to a healthy norm. The medic ninja have developed a way to keep a ninja's liver from dying, although they don't broadcast it, thinking rightfully that shinobi would abuse the treatment as an excuse to drink way too much.

Ibiki will drink any kind of liquor, from beer to vodka, and enjoy it. It's an acquired taste and Ibiki had certainly acquired it. Any time he spends in bars is actually for the drinks: he could care less about socializing. Drinking, along with desserts, was a pleasure of Ibiki's, and he spent a total of one night a month at a bar drinking his large amount of stress away. Sometimes he would even sit with Kakashi, Anko, Genma, and the others, if only to keep them from asking why he didn't join them.

He never let himself drink _too_ much- no need for him to get drunk and spill secrets or do something stupid. But he did love watching the others get drunk. Genma and Iruka were lightweights, and Kakashi was always coerced by Guy to drink too much, making any night at their favorite haunt an enjoyable one.

Ibiki may have been lying a little when he said the he didn't like the social bit- even an Uchiha would laugh when seeing Genma and Anko dance half-naked around on the table singing off-key to nursery rhymes.

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	13. M is for Mystery

Disclaimer...I don't feel like it.

Sorry for the delay, I went camping! :) Enjoy!

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**M **is for **M**ystery

Ibiki likes a good mystery. His job sates much of his thirst for one, because he considers figuring out what a prisoner knows is a mystery. It takes talent and work to solve the problem, and Ibiki likes knowing that he's the only one who can solve it.

His work isn't the only mystery he likes solving. He likes to sit at a certain teahouse and watch the people walk by, both civilian and shinobi, and watch them. He likes to figure out what he can by what they're wearing and how they carry themselves. Maybe it's too prideful, but Ibiki likes knowing that he's right about them. Ibiki has actually spotted and reported shinobi that were about to make a suicide or murder attempt just from watching them on the street. Of course, that's not what he's trying to do. Ibiki just likes watching people and figuring out their mysteries. He doesn't do anything with the information- it's none of his business if a woman is cheating on her husband or a teenager is secretly pregnant. He just likes figuring out the puzzle.

Other psychologists liked to say that this was Ibiki's way of compensating for the fact that he couldn't figure out his own life. Ibiki disagreed. He knew how he lived and who he was; it was other people who were the enigma. Other people were the ones that made no sense, not if you didn't study them and figure them out.

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	14. N is for Normal

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Hey, I posted two chapters today! I missed five days, so I'm going to be posting two tomorrow and the next day. Go back if you missed it! :)

Enjoy!

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**N** is for **N**ormal

Almost no one would say that Ibiki is normal, not the Hokage, not Kakashi, not even his brother. Anko maybe, but Anko was so far from normal herself that it didn't really count for anything. Ibiki knew he wasn't normal, not even close. He was beyond normal.

Out of the eighteen shinobi in the world who had been tortured to the extent Ibiki had, seven had committed suicide. Three had never fully physically recovered, and five ended up going on a homicidal killing spree brought on by paranoia and schizophrenia. The other two had returned to shinobi life only to end up cracking in the next ten years and resigning. If Ibiki had gone with the norm, he would probably be dead or hospitalized.

These breakdowns of other ninja were bothersome, however, since the elders freaked out every time and demanded he be given a psyche evaluation. At the end of every one the various psychiatrists would report that he was, well, not normal, but well-adjusted with himself, his only problem being a slight leaning towards sadism that was more from his job than his imprisonment.

This was all very boring to Ibiki. He knew that even if he wasn't normal, he was happy.

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	15. O is for Organized

Disclaimer- I don't own it.

Sorry for another delay! I nearly lost my flash drive for good yesterday, and trust me, that would have sucked majorly for you, since the rest of this fic is on it. :)

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**O **is for **O**rganized

Ibiki is a little OCD, something that comes from his genes and not from torturing people for a living. He can't help but straighten a rug when he's alone or line of soap in the grocery store, and once he ended up making all of a prisoner's injuries vertical because it looked better. Ibiki reevaluated himself after that, and found that with a little self-control, he'd be fine.

That didn't stop him from being organized. Any inclination to be lazy and not do dishes was overridden by the desire to make it look nice. Not that anyone ever came into his apartment or anything, he just liked it organized.

Anko was the opposite of him. The times that he went to her apartment he was bombarded with clothes lying around, pizza boxes on the floor and unspeakable things in the bedroom. He was her opposite, and her equal. In her messiness, he was organized. It was half the reason he was that neat, he figured. In balancing each other out they created a perfect stability.

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	16. P is for Playful

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto!

Two chapters again today, so make sure you didn't miss one! Enjoy! :)

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**P** is for **P**layful

Ibiki is not nearly the sadist that everyone thinks he is, nor is he the perfect saint that his brother thought. Ibiki is not one for violence when it isn't necessary, and for most part he's peaceful. But sometimes…when he's in an interrogation chamber he becomes a different man, the Ibiki Morino feared throughout the nations. He lets himself go and unleashes the rage he has hidden inside him, and becomes something terrifying. Out of a desire to cover up their fear, his subordinates have started saying that someone who was angry was channeling "playful Ibiki". Ibiki didn't mind. If anything, it only made Ibiki feel slightly better that they could joke about it.

Truth be told, "playful Ibiki" was a good thing. To get his rage and unhappiness out while doing something productive at the same time was invaluable, and that part of him rarely manifested itself. Ibiki was not proud of this hidden part of him, but it served its purpose in the village and he used himself to his advantage.

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	17. Q is for Questions

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**Q** is for **Q**uestions

Questions are a lot like mystery. Of course, with a mystery, you have to solve it yourself. With questions, you just ask and you get your answers. Ibiki likes asking questions more to see the reactions they cause. If the person blinks rapidly and their mouth gapes like a fish, you can bet it'll take Ibiki two minutes to break them. Sometimes Ibiki likes to ask completely off-the-chart random questions to see what they do and say, to put them off-guard. The more questions he asks, the better the eventual answer. Ibiki has a penchant for getting answers.

He likes to dig deep into people's minds with questions, making them flinch and tremble. He enjoys getting these answers, taking them and using them for Konoha. In all honesty, Ibiki knows he wants the answers to the questions he asked years ago. He's been hurt and abused so much, in and out of hospitals and wards, that he just wants someone to be honest with him. Instead, he gets satisfaction out of the opposite- ripping answers from others.

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	18. R is for Rescue

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**R** is for **R**escue

If you asked Ibiki, he'd say he doesn't have any pets. Well, he's lying. Ibiki has a cat, a cat named Chibi he's had since he was twenty-five. He doesn't like admitting he has it, partly because of its embarrassing name but mostly because he rescued it when it was a kitten. IF anyone found out that he'd saved a kitten…he'd never live it down.

Ibiki _couldn't_ have left it in the rain, though. It was in a ditch, dirty and wet, mewing to _him._ It would be an affront to human society if he left it there. It was a kitten, for god's sake! IT was tiny and shivering, so Ibiki grabbed it by the scruff and grudgingly shoved some milk at it. The kitten drank greedily, and Ibiki couldn't help but crack a smile. Hey, even he could think a kitten was cute.

Now Chibi was six years old and fat, but she still took the time to sit in Ibiki's lap when he was reading a book.

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	19. S is for Sarcasm

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**S** is for **S**arcasm

Ibiki is good at many things, most of which he's appreciated for. One thing that goes woefully unnoticed, however, is his highly developed sense of sarcasm. He wouldn't be himself if he wasn't sarcasm- who could imagine Ibiki as a bright, optimistic person? Anko knew how much he loved sarcasm and they frequently bantered with it…or he would go into sarcasm mode when she bounced into his office with forty sticks of dango and a maniacal expression. Sarcasm served him well for dealing with Tsunade and most of the more annoying genin and chunin. And a lot of the jonin. And all civilians.

What could he say? Ibiki loved sarcasm.

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	20. T is for Today

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**T** is for** T**oday

A ninja never knows when their life will be over. They could be called into battle any moment or die on a mission. A ninja's life is one of danger and could end any time.

Ibiki knows that, for his, this isn't quite true. Yes, battle could erupt, and he would certainly fight for his village, but odds were that he'd be needed in capturing and interrogating prisoners. As for dying on a mission…Ibiki rarely went on missions anymore, what with his many duties in Intel. But still…the reality of his life was obvious to him. He could die any minute, any second, and in knowing that he knew he had to live life the way he wanted while he was alive.

Ibiki may not have shown it, but when he was off-duty he was more alert than any other time. He took in the sights around him, the civilians chatting to each other over stalls full of dango or some other fried food. He passed a group of flowers every day as he went to work, and he could tell you better than the owner how long it took them to bloom. He paid attention to every peaceful and happy thing he saw so that he wouldn't regret missing out on anything when he died. Yes, Ibiki hoped for a future, but he wasn't stupid. There was nothing wrong with appreciating what was there at the time, what was right in front of your eyes.

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	21. U is for Unanimous

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**U** is for **U**nanimous

When Ibiki was considered for the position of Head of Interrogation and Torture, he was called into the Elders' Council, who decided that they needed to reads him his own life story before deciding if he was suitable for the job. Albeit boring, it gave him some time to bond with the Third Hokage, with whom he shared many eye-rolls and bored looks during that hour. Afterwards, they summoned in the civilian council, the Head of Jonin (Shikaku, who also looked suitably bored), and the Daimyo himself. Ibiki had come to understand that because he would have complete free reign on what he could do to interrogate people, they wanted to be sure to bring in the right person for the job. After listening to them describe his life story _again_ (he and Shikaku went out for drinks and became fast friends-boredom had its uses) they voted. Every one of them voted for Ibiki, the first unanimous vote for anything that Konoha had had since the election of the first Hokage.

He was proud. He didn't care that they elected him to torture people until he retired; he was proud of the fact that he could serve Konoha in a way no one else could. Whatever else he might be, Ibiki was the best at his job and Konoha knew it.

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	22. V is for Valor

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Yo, audburrito, friend, I am inviting you over on Sunday. I shall be calling you to let you know! :)

Enjoy, other people!

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**V** is for **V**alor

You would have to be pretty foolish to say that Ibiki Morino was a coward, but, as its human nature, people actually say it. They're dead wrong, and the idiots who say that have never been to war. Long before Ibiki had any disfiguring scars, before he was an interrogator, before any of that, he fought in the Third Great Shinobi War. His parents were already dead, but he had a little brother to fight for, and he fought with all his heart, braving many battles. He was only a genin, but that didn't matter in a time of war. He was sent to the battlefield along with many younger shinobi and watched many of them die. He proved himself in battle many times-but no one saw him do so. He saved comrades and killed enemies, murdered leaders and sheltered civilians.

He never told anyone war stories. He was satisfied with his work and didn't need to. That didn't mean Ibiki wasn't brave- he was one of the bravest men in the village.

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	23. W is for Watermelon

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**W** is for **W**atermelon

Watermelon. The food of Konoha. On any given day you can find children munching on some, thanks to the Leaf's nice climate. Every time Ibiki sees watermelon he smiles inwardly, thinking of the times he and Idate shared when they were younger. It had been their favorite food, and they had eaten it accordingly. Sometimes, instead of candy, they'd eat watermelon (this had been back in Ibiki's overweight days, so they usually went with candy) and he would look at Idate and see his mother's eyes and his father's hair.

Ibiki loved and hated watermelon in equal measure. He loved eating it, and it brought back good memories of Idate, but he hated the seeds and he hated having to think about Idate too long, because then he thought about how stupid Idate had been and how much happier than Ibiki he probably was. But then he would flick the seeds away, munch on the watermelon, and grin the way Idate used to grin.

He was moving on, slowly but surely.

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Meh. Review.


	24. X is for Xerxes

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

I like this chapter. Here yuo go, for all ten people that read this! :)

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**X** is for **X**erxes

Every ANBU had a code name. People who weren't in ANBU liked to think that their Zodiac masks were their names, but it wasn't true. There were only 13 members of the Zodiac, and for damn sure there were more than 13 ANBU members. Many people didn't realize this, but he was also in charge of the entire Intelligence division and organized the border patrols, so pretty much every ANBU, past and present, had crossed his tracks.

He knows he shouldn't have a favorite, but he doesn't care. Her code name is Xerxes- and she's one of the most productive ANBU he's ever met. She managed to interrogate a prisoner without resorting to violence, something usually only Ibiki was capable of. She had long purple hair, and she had been engaged, something that Ibiki shouldn't have felt jealous about.

He found out later that she's been engaged to Hayate only after he'd been murdered, and to his shock, she came to him in her grief. He wasn't the best at comforting people, but he tried. It was the first time he ever saw her without her mask. She was dangerous, and he loved that fact. She was beautiful, and he felt even uglier when he was with her.

Somehow she picked up on this and informed him that he wasn't ugly and that his self-esteem was far too low. And ever since then, they had been friends. And maybe…maybe somthing more.

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Review, my ponies!


	25. Y is for Youth

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Enjoy! :)

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**Y** is for **Y**outh

Out of all the people in the village, Ibiki's least favorite was Might Guy. Dressed in green, way too muscular, and freakily happy, Ibiki could live the rest of his life without seeing Guy. Actually, he'd _rather_ live that way. Guy scared Ibiki like no one else, and when Anko discovered this she requested Guy's assistance for a short-term internship in T&I. Ibiki's response? He went on his first month-long mission in five years.

Over time, Ibiki learned to appreciate Guy's dedication to the village…from a distance. His obsession with youth was understandable from Ibiki's point of view, as he knew that aging men could reflect on their past and wish for it to return. Ibiki pretty much figured that Guy was going through a mid-life crisis.

And yet…Guy _did_ seem happy. Ibiki knew he was probably just so simple-minded that he couldn't be anything else, but…he couldn't help but smile just a little when he saw the Green Beast yelling and joking with his friends.

And then grimance. Stupid beast.

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Review! :)


	26. Z is for Zigzag

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Enjoy! Actually, I think this chapter sucks, but whatever.

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**Z** is for **Z**igzag

Ibiki's life has never really been calm. People think his life is predictable, going to work and coming home to an empty apartment, relaxing with a book and training tirelessly. They couldn't be more wrong.

Ibiki's life has been nothing but constant changes. He assumed he'd been happy when he was born and for a few years after that, while he was miserable during his school years for a number of reasons. Everything changed then with his parents' deaths, and his life was plunged into a darkness that was only saved by the need to take care of his brother. He recovered from his depression only because he had to- he worked two jobs along with his genin duties and Idate spent a lot of his time in daycare.

He was up and down from there, too. When Idate graduated the Academy he was unbelievably proud, no matter what he said. When he betrayed the village Ibiki had been so disappointed and hurt he couldn't put it into words. And then…then Ibiki had been caught on a mission and tortured. After the initial depression and pain and aversion to looking in the mirror, Ibiki had gotten better and happier. Now…he was on a good bend. His life was relatively calm and peaceful and full of enough lightheartedness to keep him sane. No…more than sane…happy.

How corny. But it was true, and Ibiki knew that nothing else mattered more than him being content, at least in his own life. If you don't know yourself, than how do you expect to know others?

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Review, c'mon, it's the last chapter! I enjoyed writing this a lot, I enjoyed thinking about Ibiki so much, and I enjoy reading your reviews! C'mon, review once more, for old times' sake! :)


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